Difficult People

I think everyone at one time or another has encountered a difficult person at work. Dealing with a demanding boss or an ornery co-worker is one thing, but what if the difficult person is your client. The person paying you money for your services. How do you go about establishing "who's boss" (I'm not talking about Tony Danza:) without coming across as overbearing, too bossy, or arrogant? And, how do you deal with those difficult clients and keep them happy without becoming a pushover? Do you "suck it up" and deal with them because they are paying you, or do you fire them as clients?

This is a question that thankfully I don't have to deal with that often. 99% of the clients I have worked with in my 5 years of teaching Pilates have been a joy to work with. We smile and laugh a lot, we work hard and reap the benefits, we keep ourselves open to learning new things, and most of all we stay humble. I use "we" because I have a deep investment and committment to my clients health. I really have a fantastic job.

But.....every once in a while a client comes along who pushes every one of my buttons, pushes my boundries as a teacher and business owner, and feels like he or she has nothing to learn from me. I get so annoyed with their arrogance or difficult personality that I am tempted to ask them why they are paying me to teach them in the first place. At the moment where I am about to lose my cool, I remember something. I only have to deal with them for this one hour. Their families and people close to them have to deal with them ALL the time. Their poor attitude probably has nothing to do with me. This is the way they live their lives and relate to the world.

I had a client like that recently. No matter what I said or asked of her, it didn't work for her. She had an answer, or rather, complaint for EVERYTHING. About half way through the hour long session, the longest hour of the day, I addressed the issue. I didn't get upset, or thrown off my game by her negativity, nor did I take her complaints personally. I simply said, "ya know, there are more ways than one to skin a cat. I am just trying to teach you something new here, and that is what you are paying me for, right?" Right away she changed her attitude and the rest of the session went relatively well.

I think I did the right thing by addressing it and maintaining my composure, but by the next session she was at it again. Oh well, I am not going to bang my head against a wall trying to change someone's attitude who is unwilling. I am just a Pilates instructor.

How do you deal with difficult people? What about clients who are paying you for your services?

Coordinating my workouts with my dog's

I'm really good at multitasking. After 12 years of waitressing and bartending, I should be. I can check my email while doing the laundry, organizing a grocery list, prepping dinner, keeping an eye on my very active chocolate lab puppy, and probably still carry on a conversation with Andy. Impressive, I know, but what isn't that impressive is that exercising tends to end up at the bottom of my "to do" list. Not only is that not impressive, but slightly embarrassing being that I have made Pilates instruction my career. It's crazy, I would never dream of not walking my dog or hiking with him everyday, but my workouts always take a back burner. Hmmm.

So, I have started coordinating my workouts with my dog's. There is a walk/hike that we have done together for the past 3 days that takes about an hour. It is straight uphill in our neighborhood (which means straight up a mountain) to a trail that takes us down to a park. Then back up a steep, quad burning hill to a baseball diamond where we play soccer in the snow. I throw and kick the ball to Paisley, he blocks it or catches it in his mouth and brings it back to me. We chase eachother around, dribbling the ball and actually have a lot of fun. After we both get tired out, we hike back down the hill and walk home. It takes about an hour, and I feel myself getting stronger everyday. I definitely need to do more than just that to feel really fit, but it's a good cardio workout and a glute and quad burner.

I am learning that the busier I get, the more I need to multi-task...especially when it comes to things that get put on the back burner (exercising, bookkeeping, laundry, returning phone calls, etc.). I want to know how people with kids do it. How do you work full-time, take care of a household, raise children and still manage to have time for yourself? I'm not that good at multitasking....yet. In the meantime, I'll stick to doing lunges while waiting for my water to boil.

Breakthrough Session

I just got done working with one of my oldest clients and had a terrific session. When I say oldest I don't mean her age, I mean she is one of the clients I have worked with the longest in SLC. I have been teaching her 1-2 private sessions a week since I moved to Salt Lake 2 years ago. That's alot of Pilates:)

Well, today was a breakthrough day for my client and I. After almost 2 years, I think she finally "gets it". When I say "gets it" I mean she is starting to understand Pilates, she is starting to understand what her goals are, she is starting get the order of importance in good technique (what needs to happen 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc.), and she is finally starting to correct and adjust herself! I feel like I have finally reached her. I am trying my hardest to empower her to take control of her body and not rely on me to tell her exactly what to do all the time. She is starting to be in control.

This is exciting to me because not only do I feel like I have done a good job with her, but she is beginning to open doors for herself to a more powerful and deeper understanding of movement. I remember a friend and fellow instructor say a long time ago that you should never have to work harder than the client works. It has taken 5 years of teaching Pilates for me to start to apply that, but I agree.

When I see clients that tell me that they have been doing Pilates for years, I expect them to at least know the basics. Surprisingly, some don't. They've never been required to take ownership of their sessions. They walk in the door, pay their money, take their class or private session, and go home without really participating. What a waste of time, energy and money. They literally "check out" mentally at the door!

So, touching on my last post about goals and resolutions for 2010...here's another one. I am going to do more empowering clients rather than just teaching Pilates.

Looking Toward 2010

As the new year closes in, many of us begin thinking of what we want for our lives in the coming year. We may set resolutions, recommit to past goals, or put out hopes and dreams for the next year. I try to ask my Pilates clients every year to assess how far they have come, and set goals for the new year. What exercises or fundamentals have you been avoiding? Have you been as focused as you could be? How has your Pilates experience been for you, and what can we do to make it better?

I ask myself to do the same. Looking at my life in sections, relationships, career, family, social life, etc. Are all those areas of my life full, or are some left empty? Which areas need work, which areas are being overworked? Am I pushing myself to try new things, meet new people, and nurture current relationships? Is there an area of my life that I would like to focus on more in the coming year?

When I work with clients in Pilates, I assess what areas of their bodies need strengthening, lengthening, opening, tightening, etc. I create a tailored plan and custom goals for them because every body is different and needs personal attention. It's all about balance. In Pilates and life. Just as I customize a session for a client, I am customizing my goals and priorities in my life to work for me. How can I create balance in all areas of my life? I think this year I'll learn to meditate.

2010. A new decade is upon us. What are your resolutions this year?